Okay, if you’ve seen Mean Girls, you know that there are certain rules for the fashion forward, like that sweatpants are forbidden and you can only wear a ponytail once a week. The reason is that once is kicky, but twice or more says that a water main burst in your neighborhood and you’re just making do. Hair wear can say a LOT about a person. To find out what subtle cues you may be giving off, consult the list below:
The Bookworm: ponytail is low and centered. Out of the way, comfy, BOR-ing! This says “I’m more study hall than study buddy.” It’s okay for bumming around in your room, but generally a no-go for the social scene.
Sporty: centered up and down, left to right. Ponytail should have a metronome effect, swinging hypnotically as you walk. It says, “Boys, my backswing isn’t the only thing I’ve got going on.” For a little extra bounce, put some twirl in your curl.
Fun & Fabulous: ponytail is high up on the back of the head, perkily peeking above the crown…that’s crown of the head, not tiara or pagent crown. Disappointingly, there are fewer events at which such accessories are acceptable than you might think. The sky-high ponytail says you’re ready for fun, most likely a night of dancing, and you don’t want anything to get in your way, like overheating or blinding your designated driver with flying tresses on the dance floor.
Cheap & Easy: Let’s face it, there are very few gals who can really work a Bump-It. While I’m all for air in the hair (at five foot nothing, I’ll take all the height I can get), I recommend you go au natural. Bump-Its and faux hair pieces just make people wonder…if your hair can be bought, what next?
80s Refugee: high and off to one side…the 80s called, they want their hairstyle back. The only thing this one says is “I got dressed in the dark.” Sadly, those among the fanged and fashionable can’t count on our reflections, so it may be best to avoid ponytails entirely.
Well, there you have it. What does your ponytail placement say about you?
(Note: My main minion, L, refused to be primped, prodded and primed for the pics, so my apologies for the non-professionalism of the examples. Clearly, no actual models were harmed in the taking of these pictures.)